I'm not actually sure how to start this to be quite honest with you.
I've never attended a show like it. No, it's not a musical, I've been to a couple of those. I've also been to a few plays and many gigs and it's neither of them. There's also something of a documentary vibe to it. All this with heavy af Ayrshire accents. It's something very niche, and totally unique.
On the night, after the the lights dimmed on a very excitable crowd, we are immediately shown that shit's about to get serious. The hum of static gets louder and louder before we're greeted with archived news footage about the electricity pylons in the Shortlees council estate in Kilmarnock. The footage ends and the scene is set for protagonist and narrator, Davie MacFarlane (played by Paul Montgomery).
Davie enters and, despite the sinister atmosphere from the sound and news clips, it kind of feels like your auld pal has walked in. Maybe it's down the localised accent? Knowing that half the crowd were likely from Kilmarnock and the surrounding areas? Who knows, either way, this sensation of intimacy and genuine concern for Davie carries on throughout the performance.
Davie goes on to describe the pylons as things that were always there, but in a way, were never there.
He recalls playing on them as a kid with his pals, climbing on them and making a rope swing. It's where the adults in his childhood would say they would meet if they were going to the bingo. It's been a part of Davie's life from before he can remember. He also explains his mother passed away, and as a result he has moved back in with his dad. Back at his parents' house at the young age of 30, he laments.
As Davie's monologue continues, with a wee laugh here and there as the audience relates to personalities he describes - there's always an auld wummin looking out her windae that kens everythin, int there? - Davie is joined on stage by performers dressed in all black, wearing black masks that totally cover their heads and faces.
This didn't come as a surprise mostly as I'd seen images from the show's previous performances, but I was surprised at just how abruptly they burst into song.
Pylon is the first track, with the vocalist singing "Don't pretend you can't hear the music coming from inside of your mind", a foreshadowing lyric that comes full circle at the end of the show. The harmonies are fan-fucking-tastic with guitar solos and pulsing beats from the drums. Keys accompany and bass thunders through. The female vocalist offers the refreshing contrast of smooth vocals alongside the males' rougher sound.
Then they all stopped and stood, back in their original positions.
No applause. Just deafening silence.
This was the weird bit for me. You're used to going to a gig and whistling, whooping and making all sorts of noise after a song ends. But in a theatre, as part of an overall performance - which isn't a musical - it's borderline awkward.
I savoured it. It was new and the pressure of the silence only added to the seriousness of the show. The feeling during that silence was one of anticipation of what was to come next, and of respect for the performers building this show from the ground up, and giving it their all with a level of professionalism destined for bigger stages.
Whilst throughout there are some jokes and anecdotes we can all relate to and have a laugh at, it's not supposed to be a comedy. I won't get into the details of the plot too much - as you should really check out the show live or you'll see more from other reviews and from the likes of social media - but we're taken through Davie's story of maddening discovery of corruption and coverups from those with power.
It starts with people in the street being diagnosed with cancer. Davie explains he can rationalise some of the cases, for example a neighbour smoking like a chimney. A younger man he knows - 23 years old - is diagnosed with cancer. This he can't rationalise, as the 23 year old is as fit as a fiddle. It's when his own father is diagnosed with leukaemia that questions start to form.
After Davie's father is started on treatment, he goes along to an appointment for a scan - of which he's had several before - to which, when the doctor realises, he tells Davie's dad to go home, that prolonged exposure to radiation can have detrimental effects to the human body.
The buzz of the pylons are more prominent.
This is where the spiral starts for Davie's - now quite prominent - symptoms of anxiety, he sits on the single prop on the stage, a bench. Before the next song, the masked drummer berates Davie, chiding him for thinking he can trust anyone but himself. He goes on to say how it's just as well Davie's mother as dead, as she would be ashamed of him. As you can expect, it's a low blow that draws gasps from the crowd.
One of the masked guitarists stands up to the drummer, followed by the other masked musicians. The drummer exclaims he's telling Davie the facts, that Davie needs to be given the hard truth, that "this can't work without me". The guitarist clearly thinks "Eh, naw" as he grabs the sticks from him, and marches to the kit. The song starts and - thanks to the camaraderie from the musicians - is the only song that is met with applause afterwards.
The story continues, involves a kid called Jamie, a monkey called Chico, an investigation, a guy called Jim Quinn that seemingly disappears, and a lot more music.
I reeeeeeeeeeeally don't want to spoil the ending BUT I AM GOING TO SO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS THEN READ NO FURTHER YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED AND THIS IS ABOUT AS MUCH RAMBLING AS I CAN MANAGE TO GIVE YOU ENOUGH SPACE TO NOT SEE WHAT HAPPENS. COOL?
So, Davie goes to the papers, classic media spin the story according to the young 23 year old guy with cancer who was always as fit as a fiddle, everyone now thinks Davie's a bit of a loony cause he thinks the pylons give folk cancer. The energy company now take notice cause of aforementioned media and conduct an "investigation" wink wink nudge nudge and say there is no evidence the electromagnetic radiation from the pylons are giving people in the street cancer.
Well, Davie's not exactly pleased, especially as home visit nurses have told him his dad will not make it through the night. The kid Jamie, says that Chico the monkey will help Davie's dad get better (I've not given the necessary back story about Jamie and Chico so yet another reason for you to go see it ya lazy bams) and as Davie is at his wit's end, he takes the monkey to his dad. His dad survives the night. And the next. And the next.
He's then sitting up, and in the following days goes to the hospital for a check-up appointment. The doctor explains this was a late reaction from the body to the treatment, and the cancer is now in remission.
Davie exclaims that is wasn't the treatment, it was Chico the monkey. After endlessly insisting this is the case, Davie is committed for 3 months and diagnosed with severe anxiety and OCD.
If it wasn't apparent before, it certainly is now. The musicians represent both aspects of Davie's personality and his obsession with the pylons. Davie is mid-monologue when a nurse walks on stage, asking who he's speaking to, and if he's taken his medication today. After a brief chat, she wants to recommend to the doctor that Davie should stop taking the pills. Davie seems surprised and apprehensively excited.
As Davie and the nurse walk off the stage, the musicians look at each other in a sad acceptance. Some of them shrug, and walk off stage. Lead male vocalist - the one with a tie and jacket - stays till the end, before giving the audience a burning stare, and walking off.
We're greeted with text on the screen, explaining that after Davie's release, he never returned to Kilmarnock. The footage of the crew sailing across to Belfast, where the real David MacFarlane moved to then appears. The short clip shows Davie showing the camera a picture of Chico the monkey, which is met with thunderous applause from the audience. The applause remains and standing ovations are given, the connection between the show and the audience truly cemented.
The team behind the production are to this day completely self-funded, with the one goal being to share the story of PYLON. The themes at the centre of the production are community, looking out for one another, and seeking the truth.
They've been to showcase at BEAM2018 at London’s Theatre Royal, and have featured on WestFM as well as BBC Radio's Off the Ball session, truly doing their bit to showcase Scotland’s homegrown artistic talent.
You can keep up to date with the show’s progress through their facebook page.
If for whatever reason you can't make it to a future showing - venue too far away, have plans already, or you're just a general shitebag - have a listen to the soundtrack using the link below.
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